Wednesday 27 June 2007

It's life, and life only...

Have you ever walked alone in the woods ? Alone. Feeling the fear grip your heart for you have no clue what might be hiding behind the bushes that line the small red gravel path you're walking on. Sat on an old dilapidated bench in a small clearing, letting the silence of nature take over your mortal existence?

'You lose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand with nobody near...'

Have you ever held your breath just to feel your insides pale and long for release?
Have you ever stayed up all night just to feel dawn break?

Have you ever felt the broken cries of birds soaring in the sky for they too are forever chained to the sky?
Have you ever felt a piece of music break something precious inside?
Ever felt the longing for human touch? Or for words ? Just a usual conversation had over a cup of coffee getting cold?

Have you ever walked in a slum neighbourhood and felt the sweat of those that were unfortunate enough to be born there ?
What distances us from them? Just the fact that we were born in a different scenario ?

'From the fool's gold mouthpiece
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proves to warn
That he not busy being born
Is busy dying...'

Have you ever felt the loneliness of the road? Walked on it and greeted it?

Have you ever felt the need to question? Everything? From why you think what you think, to why you're even here?

Have you ever wanted to grip the very source of all your fears by the throat and strangle the life out of it?

Have you ever been silent?
Have you ever screamed a muffled scream?

Have you ever seen a tree? Really seen it? Felt its breath?

Have you ever felt the need to escape from your own life? To be somebody? Nobody?

Have you ever seen a concert and felt thousand of people united just by a song?

Have you ever seen the world through a canvas?
Or in greyscale?

Have you ever talked to someone through your smile?
Ever sat down with a poor merchant who offered you a bidi, and on your refusal felt the depth of his words when he said 'Zindagi mein kya rakha hai, bidi piyo, mauj karo' , and this right before he tells you how poor he really is and how desperately he wants to earn some money to feed his kids, and maybe send them to school.
Or felt the purity of the hearts of innocent strangers who would, in exchange for a patient ear, invite you to their homes, apologise for their chhota makaan, and make you the sweetest tea you've ever tasted?

Have you ever sat with an old man and heard his stories, felt his loss, and realised all he has left are those stories?

Have you ever understood, really understood, madness?

Have you ever stared into the glaring sun, or maybe even a shining light bulb, to see it turn from its glaring yellow to a soothing blue-white?

Have you ever killed a bug just to see it die? And feel its pain?

Have you ever felt real pain?

Have you ever felt the need to let go, and not bask in the glory of your rigid beliefs?
Have you ever felt blessed in your ignorance?

Have you ever felt so chained to your ambitions and desires, that you forgot to live them?

Have you ever longed for your friends, and the lazy evenings spent sipping coffee and cracking jokes?
Have you ever felt the irrepressable urge to see the world? To walk on every road and reach the point where there are no more roads to take?
Have you ever felt the absolute urge to know people? Know what they're made of, and what they've lived through?

Have you ever done anything without selfish interests, the satisfaction included.

Have you ever woken up in tears, having no idea what made them crawl down your cheeks and wet your pillow?
Have you ever stood tall and against the crowd?
Spit in the face of rat-race, for in the end everyone in it is a slimy rat?
Ever wanted to be just your own?

'While one who sings with his tongue on fire
Gargles in the rat race choir
Bent out of shape from society's pliers...'

Have you ever tasted failure, and smiled? Tasted your salty tears?

'You feel to moan but unlike before
You discover
That you'd just be
One more person crying...'

Have you ever felt stranded?
Left questioning ?
And ultimately
silenced by your own questions?

'Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma,

to live up to...'


Aseem Suri